


What If

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012!Phan, 2017!Phan, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Time Skips, and a bit more, and then everything turns upside down, wishes do come true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:18:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What if THE video was never accidentally published and 2012 in phandom never happened? What if someone warned Phil and he deleted the video before YouTube unprivated it? Aka time is an illusion, everything is actually happening at the same time and just after a big fight 2012!Phil wishes he could have warned himself in the past before all of this went down.All of this and much more.(It's not actually as deep as it sounds.)





	What If

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i got this idea a long time ago and i wanted to make it into a really long fic and all that but i think this suits it better. it has everything it needs and i just hope it isnt confusing for any of you.

If you would ask Phil Lester what his biggest regret in life was he would have to think really hard about it. Maybe even ask his best friend. He didn’t know. In 2017 everything was great. The tour was over, they have just moved into a new apartment, their Sim-son got pregnant with an alien baby and of course life was a lot more adventurous than he would have ever dreamt of. In 2008 when he got his Bachelor of Arts and hell even more in 2010 with a Master’s degree he never could have dreamt of being really famous. It was all just for fun. To do something with all the free time. And if later he got some money from it who wouldn’t take that? Everyone wants their hobby to become their job. Well most people. He couldn’t speak for everyone.

But now? With 4 million people watching him? Well… let’s not forget that so many of them are actually bots and he gets about 1 to 2 million views per video. The follower’s number makes it seems like he is more famous than he actually is. But he doesn’t care. He does what he likes, actually uses something he learned at university and he makes money out of it. Isn’t life great?

He even lives with his best friend and boyfriend. That’s something he never really thought he would be able to say. And yeah… he can’t really say that as they are still hiding it but he can announce it to himself or just say it to Dan and it’s enough. He is happy.

 

But someone else isn’t happy. His past self for sure isn’t. They just moved into London and Dan is acting as if he is better than Phil. Always talking back and saying slurs, shouting even. Who does he think he is? It wasn’t Phil who unprivated the video! It was all because of YouTube and they for sure can’t go and blame them. And then it was that person who posted it on Tumblr without any comment. And whole phandom that just loved it and they all knew it was real even if Dan and Phil tried to tell them otherwise.

Maybe he should have deleted the video long time ago. It’s not like it had any purpose after he made it. Dan saw it, loved it, commented on it and everything was great. He should had just made screenshots of Dan’s comment and delete it. That could have saved their whole relationship which was now just wrecks that can’t be put together.

Or so he thought as he wished there was a possibility to warn the past Phil about this. If he could just delete it…

 

It was 2011 and Phil Lester suddenly woke up. The room was a bit too cold for his liking as it was already August. But he usually didn’t mind. Usually he would just snuggle a bit closer to Dan and continue sleeping. But he couldn’t. Something wasn’t right.

“Damn Phil, someone’s trying to sleep here.” Dan was sleepy and grumpy. As usually when woken up. But the minute Phil stopped shuffling around Dan was soundly asleep and Phil could just be jealous. He wanted to sleep too but it just wasn’t happening. You know like when it’s one of those nights when you are awake until five in the morning not because you are browsing the internet on your phone but because your thoughts just won’t shut up.

But Phil wasn’t thinking about anything. It was just this weird feeling he has to do something but he didn’t know what.

He got out of bed and looked at Dan who immediately stole his covers. Just you wait, he thought, I will be back and then you will be sleeping with your ass bare. He smiled at that thought. He would never do that. Maybe he should go get another blanket once he’ll get rid of this weird feeling.

So he walked into the lounge and sat down. Maybe it’s just his night craving for Dan’s cereals. But it didn’t feel like it.

He still couldn’t resist.

Once he finally sat down again, this time with a bowl of cereal, he grabbed his laptop that was lying next to the sofa and opened YouTube. Watching some videos will for sure calm him down. Maybe he will even get some ideas though most of them came to him while showering.

He didn’t know why but maybe his subconsciousness did but now he was looking at all the videos on his second channel. Maybe he can make another soon. Or maybe… maybe he can… his eyes stopped at video he made last year. The one that he was so anxious about posting. The one only for Dan.

Why is he now at 3 am looking through his old videos and why exactly this? He loved that video. It made Dan so happy they’ve talked for hours after he saw it. And not about everything. About them. About how whatever happens they want to be together and yeah they are young and all of that but they make each other so happy it would be a shame to not talk to each other almost every day like they were used to.

And now look at it. Together in one apartment. Sharing one bed. Or the other one when it comes to it. So why is Phil here watching that video when he can be in their bed cuddling Dan? And also be warm because it’s so freaking cold here.

He watched himself and thought about the times when Dan was so far away and when they didn’t even met each other in real life but only skyped for hours talking about everything and nothing and about their future and past. They still talked about these things but usually it was enough to just sit next to each other and watch movies. Or play games and banter.

But now Phil was sitting on the sofa and his boyfriend was in the next room. But it didn’t feel right to go back to sleep. No. It felt right to think about how things were and how they changed. And how he and Dan changed.

Maybe he can… it was their past but now when they were together they didn’t need it uploaded on YouTube. Phil had it saved in his laptop and he was sure Dan had it somewhere too. It was important to both of them. So he made a screenshot of the page just so he can sometime in the future read Dan’s comment and of course his own response and then that was it.

Click click and the video was deleted. Gone. Forever gone from the internet.

He smiled. It made him feel good for some reason. As if he had done something important. So he munched on the last cereals in the bowl, washed up and went back to bed. He was feeling much better.

Lying next to Dan he remembered he wanted to bring another blanket. But it was too late. One was more than enough he thought as he hugged Dan and tried to get him to share the covers.

“Where were you? It’s cold,” mumbled Dan. He wasn’t even really awake. Just cold, confused and sleepy.

“Sorry. Had to do something. Night, Dan.” He knew Dan probably didn’t hear him but he didn’t care. Now feeling like he just made an important change he immediately fell asleep.

 

It was 2012 and they just got an opportunity to be radio hosts on BBC Radio. Who would turn that down? Maybe two guys living hours away from London… But they didn’t. Instead they packed all their things and decided to move south. It was great. They had apartment together and each of them had own room.

They debated for a long time if it was needed. They had a great year. Their fans maybe sometimes crossed the line but they had each other.

It was weird. Sometimes it felt too weird. They never fought. Only the minor fights when one of them forgot to do this or that. Never a big fight. It was too perfect.

Now living in London, Dan was even better flatmate than before. Of course he had sometimes an existential crisis and then hair crisis and also some body image issues but they coped. Phil was there for him.

It was too perfect. Too perfect to be true. Too perfect to last.

 

If you would ask Phil Lester what his biggest regret in life was he would have to think really hard about it. Maybe even ask his best friend. He didn’t know. It was 2017 again and he and Dan were doing fine. They started their gaming channel few months back. Their Sim-son Dil Howlter was a scientist and after some time of playing he had now an alien girlfriend. Dan and Phil still worked for BBC and were actually quite famous. They made some interviews with famous people. They were happy.

 

They’ve never written a book.

They never did a tour.

They never stopped talking to Chris. Actually the new PJ’s movie was really great, starring both of them and Chris. Fantastic Foursome they were.

Dan’s channel had a lot less videos. He still isn’t comfortable with himself.

Curly Dan could be seen only in the morning, never for too long.

Punk Dan and Phil? Pastel Dan and Phil? Never heard of them…

Imagine PINOF4 being as great as all the other PINOFs…

Imagine all the other PINOFs being even better than you remember. Or not remember in this case.

The bloopers never drowned in milk.

Dan’s liveshows were just… nice. But not as philosophical as you know… they could be.

“Editing tips” were never a thing.

And you know… much more. But we wouldn’t know, would we?

 

Phil was happy. Of course he was happy. But he never knew what he lost by wishing for something so stupid. Past is already behind you. Stop thinking about it.

 

They got married in 2022. Their best men were PJ and Chris. They still have that picture hanging above their bed in their shared bedroom.

 

It was 2023 and they were so happy. Married, living in their new house with a dog and a small bunny. Don’t ask for their names. Thor and Winston...

Their honeymoon were the best few days of their lives. And of course they made a video for their viewers. Who wouldn’t want to watch two nerds loving each other and enjoying their life, so they can then cry into a pillow because they will be forever alone writing fanfictions about these two?

But Dan woke up one day in middle of night. This wasn’t right. Something was missing in his life. He had Phil and he was happy. But… something was wrong. So wrong.

He felt as if he could be a better person. Read more books and know more about the world. Travel more. Meet more people. Like himself more. Be more… happy.

He wished he could do something. Anything. Like himself. Enjoy his life a bit more. Just… be more Dan than he was now.

 

It was August 2011 and Phil woke up. He felt uneasy. He had this weird feeling he needed to do something. But he didn’t. He cuddled up to Dan a bit more and enjoyed the warmth under the covers. It was great. He fell asleep immediately.

 

The video was still up. It got unprivated in September and in 2012 someone posted it on Tumblr without telling others it was a “prank”. That year was hard. Really hard for the two of them.

But they made it through. As always. Together.

 

It was 2017 and Phil Lester was happy. He looked at Dan, his beautiful boyfriend with his curly hair and dimpled smile. They were making pancakes for breakfast so they can watch anime and then go film another episode of The Sims. It was time for Dil Howlter to give birth to an alien baby.

Phil hugged Dan from behind and kissed his neck.

“Hey, you big baby, I am cooking here!” Dan muttered. But he was smiling.

“I know. I wanna do the next flip!”

“Oh, really? Want me to film it again? So you can share it on the internet and I will have to listen for weeks to our fans shouting how perfect you are? And how nerdy you look in that apron?” Dan sassed him. Of course he didn’t mind. He knew all of that already. He didn’t need their fans telling him that.

“No. I want to help. And I look pretty good in that apron. But the one you have is better.” He was of course referring to the apron of half-naked body Dan was wearing.

“Okay. I hate that you always get what you want.”

“You love me. And you love this.”

“What this? Being all couple-y with you and making the whole internet jealous that I am the one living with you? Or that after all these years I still can’t say no to you?”

“Dan, you know as well as me that it also works the other way. You actually used the puppy eyes on me in a video… I still didn’t forgive you for that.”

“Ok. Here take the pan and do your best. If you fail, I am not cleaning that up, just so you know.”

“I know.”

And Phil smiled and Dan smiled and universe was once again okay.

 

Or maybe it was never supposed to be this way. Maybe someone in the future will soon wish for something else… And it might come true.

 

It was 2009 and Dan Howell was just another sad teenager. And he really wished to meet his internet idol. But that could never happen, right?

**Author's Note:**

> who knows if dan actually met his idol... i mean some wishes do come true. but only some. and dan howell was never really lucky


End file.
